Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Life Is Still Upside Down and Spinning/Complications,Disappointments and Life

Complications, Disappointments and Life: “${latestItemTitle}” plus ${m} more   Life is unmistakably unpredictable tossing in all life's bizarreness we can handle. 
   I am legally separated now, as hubby one day decided we needed to give our marriage a break. I have to admit life is less stressed and I honestly can not say it will not be permanent. The marriage has very little to work with and still no honesty has been forth coming from him.
  The trust has been broken and I honestly at this point do not see it being mended in any way. I have to admit it hurt more than I thought I would, but life goes on, as I will also.
  Men seem to be less broken up over a marriage that is no longer viable, at least in my case it is true. It is as if he is returning an overdue library book, a little peeved at having to do it but not a big deal.
  Some how I do not understand this as I think back at the time that if he had put one fourth the effort in as he does in getting out of the marriage it might have worked.
  I have tried to be fair and just in the separation so far, where as I would rather be the royal b***h. I know understand why they say a marriage that has fallen apart is akin to losing a family member. The brain may know it is definitely over but that heart does not have a clue. It still grieves and hurts even after all the hurt while still together.
  I am not blameless in the separation the strokes and dementia have taken a toll on how I react to things now. I am less patient,
and things that used to not bother me, now drive me up the wall.
So I am sure I was not the easiest wife to live with, nor was he the easiest husband to live with.
  We are in the process of dividing up things in the home, as he has rented a place somewhere else. Do not let anyone fool you it is hard to watch as items are removed from your home knowing this decision will more than likely be final. I can not help to think about the times shared and knowing it will not be ever again.
  We have separated several times, but I know that filing for a divorce will be the only option left to me now. I hate it but deep in my heart I know that this is for the best. May the grass he is looking for be greener than what he had.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Happiness Did Not Include the Holidays/Compications Disappointments and Life



      Happiness did not include this past holidays. My holiday was spent mostly by myself. When he was home he was asleep or on the phone with his whispered private conversations. My time was spent cooking, wrapping last minute gifts and visiting friends. 
     To be quite honest I am very glad that Christmas is now over. I received no gift and barely a half hearted Merry Christmas. I guess I should not be surprised or disappointed with all that has and still is going on. 
    Christmas has always been my favorite holiday; I love to find the perfect gift for each one on my list to buy for. I go all out on decorating, baking and cooking Christmas delightful treats and the Christmas meal. Decorating has always been something I have enjoyed doing to make my home a magical time at the Holidays. 
I did decorate but I did not accomplish one fourth of what I always have done. 
       I do know that if things do not start improving soon I will be alone next Christmas and probably a lot better off than having a Scrooge in the home. He was hateful, grouchy and did not want to be bothered in anyway unless the wonderful cell phone rang and he would jump up to run into another room or outside to answer it.
Even with his attitude I was determined to make the best out of this past Christmas as we never know if God will permit us to share another here on earth. I did remember one thing on Christmas day that I had not taken to heart. You can still enjoy in some way a holiday no matter what is going on, or whom may try to destroy it. 
      Life will go on with or without him. My world will not stop if he is no longer in it.  I still have good friends, and loving dog and my own home that he can claim any of. No matter what your spouse is putting you through always look on the positive aspects of your life. If you are being abused, please get out. I have been in an abusive relationship and does not get any better, it just becomes more abusive and you believe that no one else will have you. I know I was told that constantly but it is NOT true. It is he that is afraid he will not find someone else who will stand for this abusive behavior; mentally, physically and emotionally. The shelter is the best place to go and they will help you in every aspect of your life. I promise this! 
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Lies Are a Dime a Dozen/Complications Disappointments and Life

Time Saving Truth from Falsehood and EnvyImage via Wikipedia
    One would believe that one day the adulterous spouse would ultimately expire of lies. Therefore numerous untruths  have been recounted that at present he is stumbling with the entirety of those remarkable and unbelievable lies. To a greater extent he attempts to compensate for the entire realm of lies, roughly most are so transparent that it has became so astonishing that anyone could consider them.
   I have encountered when confronted with the lies he immediately alleges it is my lack of trust and he can not have friends. I do not have a problem with him having friends, I do have a trouble with their untruths attempting to conceal his activities. The similar concealment has developed into unbelievable. 
   Besides the actual accounts of extremely late night excuses that he is only able to his "friends"then.
Perhaps I am old fashioned no marital man is required to stay out all night to encounter his friends. 
   The deficiency of concern for anything at home or me comes up last and his buddies come up first.
I hold in preceding judgement of first hand experience that has been encountered before. The affair holds precedent over everything.
   The lies descend forth daily, the misuse of trust becomes stronger. I have came to the point that I do not trust in anything concerning my marriage any more. If I told that the moon was full I would have to go out to see to believe it.
   It greatly saddens me to have such a total lack of trust. I am also very sadden by the lies and the total deficiency of truth and honesty in our marriage. Trust is something that has to be earned and kept, not cast away with lies and deceptions.
   My marriage vows I took upon my heart and have been held sacred. The vows unfortunately did not hold the same meaning to him. Life goes on and marriages dissolve, but integrity still holds true.


Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Friday, November 20, 2009

Another Day Same Cheating Husband/Complications, Disappointments and Life

A Bill of DivorcementImage via Wikipedia
   Another wondrous opportunity with a betraying spouse, he is not the most brilliant wandering husband in the universe. Regrettably  he actually considers himself one.

   More than enough tether was applied to him to avail and stumble himself. He seized it and escaped imagining himself so wise and self-satisfied that he is bewildering  me with everything. If he merely recognized how very much I have come to acknowledge and how practically I am inclined to wait to obtain more information. 
    Marriage vows we declared from each other has been tossed away and a new experiences to him has taken new precedent in his life. Grass is not always greener on the other side. In that respect there will be no turning back home, he has arrived at his selection immediately he has to accept life style.
    Life will go forward, eagerly turning dearer, time mends completely.
Please think of us as the survivors, we have dealt with the most regretful pieces in our life history, and today it is our position to accept control.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ignorance Is Not Bliss and Love Stops Being Blind/Complications,Disappointments and Life

Jerry Springer in ChicagoImage by mrtopp via Flickr
    My instinctive feelings are my that my spouse is cheating. I have experienced being blinded by my darling husband and  at the present moment I want to know the truth. A lot of people do not have the desire to acquire this knowledge but to me ignorance is not bliss.
   I am extremely exhausted with all of the lies, I nowadays believe nothing that he has spoken. Trust has been destroyed by deception, especially my faith in my marriage is rattled to the essence. 
   My spouse tries to divert attention away from himself by insinuating it is I that is cheating. The tremendous way of everything that occurs wrong is somehow my fault.  In that respect I have absolutely no qualms of accepting responsibility for my mistakes. I will not accept his responsibility in the mistakes made also.
   The justifications for having to go out so abruptly  are wearing fragile and turn more than unbelievable. Dementia might be a component of my life but it does not constitute myself as unintelligent as he appears to imagine.

   
Enhanced by Zemanta


Blogspot Template by Isnaini Dot Com. Powered by Blogger and Supported by Home Interiors